Truth or Dare With Cross Academy
by kulisu
Summary: You can play Truth or Dare with anyone from VK! Look inside to see the hostess' personality...
1. Chapter 1

Kuri: Hmmm, I feel like making one of these myself, so I will! Now this will be a Vampire Knight Truth or Dare game, where your reviews are the questions. And you know what? You can choose wether it will be truth or dare. I'll put my other fic on hold while this is going, unless I can write quick enough. It could happen...?

Okay, I'll kick things off here with my OWN ones. These are to both Shiki-senpai and Zero.

Truth: How did you two get so hot?

Zero: What does that mean?

Kuri: *sigh* I see... You know perfectly well what it means for girls, but not guys? WEAK. Now, Shiki-senpai?

Shiki: It's just natural. I wont talk anymore. I'm tired.

Kuri: Right... 'I'm tired' was more talking, you know? Anyway, that was such a lame, boring, stupid answer that I'll just get on with it.

Dare: I dare you two to kiss. 8DDDDDD

Zero: WHAT? I'M _NOT_ KISSING A BEAST-

Kuri: If you don't I'll give my obsessed friends raping sticks...

Obsessed and nameless friends: 8DDDDDD THANKIES! RAPIES TIME!

Kuri: You DO know that sounded like 'rabies time'...?

Zero: Gah!

Kuri: Important life lesson: Fangirls are waaaaaaayyyyyy scarier than vampires. That's why they're awesome. Now GO! *pushes them together* If you two even TRY to break away without my permission, I WILL join those girls.

Ichijou: O.O Now, now, *bleep*, that's enough.

Kuri: ICHIJOU-SENPAI! WHEN DID I TELL YOU TO _NOT_ SAY MY REAL NAME HERE? TWO MINUES AGO!

Ichijou: Okay, okay, Kuri, just let them go.

Kuri: *sigh* I guess so. I've been holding them like this for a minute. *let's go of them* *mumbles* Idiot...

Ichijou: Hm?

Kuri: _Nothing~! _Okay, if you have anything you want on here, just review. It's open to all chracters, no matter _how_ minor they are. Say, even Zero's Level E nurse... Anyway, if you don't review, I'll make Rido stalk you. So get reviewing! Now! Okay, see you next chapter~!


	2. Chapter 2

Kuri: Okay, welcome back to Truth or Dare With Cross Academy~! Now first, an announcement. I have... A slave who doesn't want to be here!

Rehana: I will kill you.

Kuri: Don't you dare try, _slave_. Haha, now let's get on with it! From DuctTapeQueen000: 'Okay Zero I dare you to kiss Kaname then after that go kiss Shiki again ((you know you liked it))' That is an awesome idea!

Zero: What, now a PUREBLOOD? OH, COME ON!

Kuri: *holds taser to his head* Kiss both or I taser you.

Zero: NO.

Kuri: GUAHAHAHAHA! *tasers him* Ohh, that was fun~. *plays with taser and accidently hits random Night Class students*...Whoops. Oh, Zero's back up! Kuran, just kiss him. You don't want the same fate as Zero, do you?

Kaname: I _guess_ not. *kisses him on the cheek*

Kuri: Nooooo, on the _lips_.

Zero: *faints*

Kuri: See, Kuran, now it's easier. Now don't make me taser you...

Kaname: Fine. *kisses him on the lips*

Kuri: To the internet!

Kaname: Hey!

Rehana: That was gross.

Kuri: Oh, shush. You just have no taste in pairings. Now, as for Shiki... I'm going to add something. You need to take both your shirts off.

Shiki: Why...?

Kuri: Because I said so, now do it, or I do it for you.

Shiki: *takes shirt off*

Kuri: Oh ho ho... *stares at his open... everything on the top half* And I'm going to have to take off Zero's myself. Actually, never mind. _Slave_ can do it.

Rehana: *is to busy staring at Shiki*

Kuri: Okay, I will. *takes off Zero's shirt* *V* Pwetty... Now kiss, you two! You've done it once, now again!

Shiki: *kisses him*

Kuri: *takes photo* To Deviantart. And Photobucket. And every other photo sharing site.

Rehana: Why do you people have to send in these dares...

Kuri: Shut up, they're tasteful! Next: 'Yuuki now you must tell the truth! Who do you like better Zero or Kaname? -inner thoughts-((!))

Yuuki: W-Well, I c-couldn't possibly choo-

Kuri: Zero. Will always be Zero. Though fangirls like them way more than you. Next: 'Now Ruka you stupid girl is it true that you stil dont realise after all this time of Kain friggen loving you you still dont have a tiny hint of him maybe just liking you?

Ruka: Kain notices me? I thought our only relation was friends?

Kain:

Kuri: There, there, Kain-senpai. Don't cry Chairman tears. It makes you look unnatractive _and_ makes it harder for you to murder Aidou with your fire.

Kain: *sniffle*

Kuri: Uh-huh... And comments are always added in this, so: 'Well thats it for now! Love you ***bleep***! Sorry I mean Kuri!'

Well, I love all my reviewers.^^ In a not creepy way, though, 'cause that'd be creepy... And Y U NO MY NAEM?

Moving on to Mystique Madjik: 'Zero'

'Truth: Are you positive you lovee yuuki? IF SO THEN I KILL HER AND JOIN CRAZY FANGIRLS! Oh wait I'm even more crazy than them. *looks at raep fangirls and smirks with evil glint in eyes*'

'Comment: I l-love yo-you!'

I'm totally with you on everything there!

Zero: Wait, what? You're worse than fangirls...? Worse than raep fangirls...? MUMMY! SAVE ME!

Kuri: Uhh, Zero? Your mummy's not alive anymore.

Zero: RAWR SHIZUKA. I- wait, you'll kill her? Then... I don't love her... *looks away and fails at whistling* And as for that comment, thanks? Wait you're worse than a raep fangirl... I no liek humans OR vampiers... =^=

Kuri: She still has a question for you, Zero. Anyway, 'Truth/Dareish thing: can I have you? I'm taking you with me no matter what you say and you can one Become my servant or two be my boyfriend. Oh and I'm stalking you as we speak MWAHAHAHA! *Looks at pictures of Zero and giggles and right outside studio where vampires can hear me*

Zero: No. =^=

Kuri: Come with me, _slave_. We're taking him to the dungeon of giviness to fangirl that wanty him. Right now, that's Madjik.

Rehana: As long as I get Shiki for myself afterwards.

Kuri: Yeah, yeah, whatever. You can. Just help me for now. He's heavy, you know.

Rehana: YAY SHIKI~! OKAY I WILL~!

Shiki: O.O

Kuri: *gasps* Shiki, you have emotions?

Shiki: -.-

Kuri: I still think you did... Here you go. It's Zero.

Zero: Hello, _stalker_. I don't like stalkers. And I choose option B. Less whipping.

Yuuki: Well, you do like stalkers.

Kuri: xD Yuuki. That was hilarious. Okay, next. 'Shiki'

'Comment: I know this isn't a dare or truth but your so awsome'

Shiki: Thank you. -.-

Kuri: You are so bland... 'Truth: how do you control your emotions'

Shiki: What emotions?

Kuri: Some would say _emo_tions. Har har. I'm so funny. But you can't lie, we saw it before. You have emotions.

Shiki: Sleeping tablets.

Kuri: No idea how that works, but okay... Now: 'Yuuki'

'Comment: You have kaname and I have Zero-chan'

Zero: '-CHAN'?

Kuri: Wow, my mum just woke up at 5:29AM. I'm the only nocturnal one in this family... Now, Yuuki?

Yuuki: Umm, if you give me parfait.

Kuri: Just go all incesty-ish on your brother and give her Zero. Or I use taser.

Yuuki: Okay, okay... ^^;

Kuri: Lastly: 'Kuri: Thanks so much for doing this!' No problem. You know, your review came in while I was writing this. It made me so happy. Oh, actually, one more thing. This is for Kuran and Zero. Zero: Do you know that I have a picture of you with your hair tied up? Kuran: Do you know I have a picture of you with you as a midwife?

Rehana: YOU DO? *checks my files on my laptop* It's true! Email them to me!

Kuri: I already have, but your email isn't working, remember? Now, you two? =3

Zero: WHAT?

Kuri: *shows him*

Zero: Yuuki... This is your fault... You shall pay...

Kuri: Yeah, kill her! Now, Kuran?

Kaname: Oh, yeah, I used to be a midwife... Just don't show them to Yuuki, okay?

Kuri: *shows them to her*

Well that's all, I'll see you next time I can... Yeah, just after I get more material to use on them. ) Okay, bye! *in the background: nooooooooooooooooo*

*cheesy elevator music*


	3. Chapter 3

Kuri: Again, we will be here to annoy our (possibly) beloved VK characters~.

Zero: What the hell are you wearing.

Kuri: Nothing.

Zero: O.O

Kuri: Not litearally, you idiot, just nothing noteworthy.

Zero: It looks good on you. '/'

Kuri: If you even start to like me I shall kill you. Two reasons. 1. I need to keep you for your fans... Even though I'm worse than them... Still! 2. It'd break my contract I had up with the police that allows me to taser you. That is an awesome contract that I'll NEVER let go of. NEVER.

Zero: I wasn't deve- Wait you got a police contract to taser me?

Kuri: Yeah. You and everyone else.

Zero: And I was thinking of calling them to stop the tasering...

Kuri: That wouldn't work. Now, questions! A new guest, The Pocky Machine.

Shiki and Rima: Tell more.

Kuri: It's just a name. Though pocky is delicious. Now: 'Haha! :)' Thank you, I stay up all night to write this. Not like it's anything new, I'm nocturnal. So basically I spend the whole day writing it...? Okay, 'Questions:'

'To Rido: Do you wear a wig?'

I think I could answer that myself. *pulls Rido's hair* Ah! He does! What's underneath... Eww, mould is covering the top of his head.

Shiki: Well, that makes me feel sorry for you. I mean, I know you killed almost everyone in my body, but you're my dad-

Kuri: That gives me high hopes for this next question: 'I dare you to kiss Senri :D'

Shiki: O.O

Rido: O.O The hell? I hope I get paid for this...

Kuri: You don't. But you get murdered by Kaien if you don't do this.

Kaien: 

Kuri: Nice vocal chord range. Oh, Shiki.

Shiki: Hm?

Kuri: If you don't I get the mould from your dad's head and place it on your head so that you look terrible for your modelling shoot at 2PM today.

Shiki: You wouldn't...

Kuri: *takes out pocket knife* It works for mould, you know?

Shiki: You would.

Rima: That's just... Ew. And how do you know the exact time for the shoot?

Kuri: I make copies of everyone's yearly planners.

Rima: Stalker.

Kuri: That only stands for Shiki, Zero and Ichijou. Anyway. Kiss kiss. NOW.

Shiki: *kisses him*

Fangirls: OoOoOoOoOo

Rehana: *walks in* You really need new reviewers. Oh, and why is this guy with mouldy head that looks like Rido kissing _my_ Shiki.

Kuri: Ah, you're here. Did I ever say _when_ I would give you Shiki, _slave_? And my reviewers have taste, yaoi is awesome and so are there dares. And that _is _Rido; he usually wears a wig. Now, next: 'To Sara: I dare you to cut your hair :)' And the sissors go snip, snip.

Sara: I spent _years_ growing this! You can NOT make me cut it.

Kuri: No, but I can make myself cut it. *cuts all he hair off until she goes bald*

Sara: Somebody get this woman to a mental hospital! She cut of-

Kuri: I cut off your spech. And don't call me a woman, I'm not even 18 yet!

Sara: Biatch.

Kuri: *goes and steals Ichijou's katana* Call me that again and I use this on you. 8D

Sara: I swear, this brat is mentally ill.

Kuri: *is not listening* 'To Kaname: I dare you to call Zero : Kiryu Sama for the day :D'

Zero: I like that idea.

Kuri: Agreed. Now, Kuran. Call him that or else you get raepd by _slave_ here.

Rehana: WHAT? I don't even like him!

Kuri: Too bad, you're my _slave_. You used to like him anyway; same thing.

Kaname: Fine, Kiryuu-sama.

Kuri: Good. Now, 'I dare you to dye your hair pink.'

Kaname: What?

Kuri: *walks up to him with permanent pink hair dye*

Kaname: Oh, no. No, no, no. Kiryuu-sama, save me!

Zero: No can do.

Kuri: *dyes his hair pink*

Everyone exept Kaname: *dies from laughter*

Kuri: Okay, okay, next. 'To Zero: Truth:Did you and Ichiru ever pretend to be each other?'

Zero: Have you seen Ouran High School Host Club? We're like the Hitachiin twins.

Kuri: OHEMGEE, TWINCEST! KYAAAA~!

Zero: Without the twincest part.

Kuri: I won't believe that until I have proof.

Ichiru: She's got a point, Zero, honey.

All girls on premises: He called him honey! That is so cute! Kyaa!

Zero: Screw you, Ichiru.

Ichiru: Oh, but I'd like to screw YOU, Zero. My lover.

Kuri: 8DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD OMG, OMG, OMG! Do it, do it, do it!

Ichiru: We'll do it tonight, m'kay, my beautiful brother?

Zero: Bottom line is, we used to pretend to be each other.

Kuri: *not listening* Okay, let's move on, shall we? Before we all get nosebleeds? I know I already have a faint one... Next question's from Mytsique Madjik. 'Your welcome Kuri! now GIVE ME ZERO! :3' I never said I wouldn't, did I? And I'm still keeping everyone for my reviewers.

Zero: No...

Kuri: Yes. Try to get out of it and taser... And Rido kissy.

Zero: Yes.

Kuri: Good slavey Zero. That was all from her. And we're... done! Oh, uhm, sorry for this update being a bit late. My keyboard was glitchy, I had to listen to my new VK CD Pack and I had three volumes of the manga to read through, so... Yeah. And the internet's acting up. And I have absolutely no strength of will... *falls over*

Zero: Yay, she's dead!

Kuri: I'm not dead, idiot! Merely losing my strength of will! I'm NOT losing my will to taser!

Zero: Dammit...

Kuri: Well, hope to see you guys soon! My laptop's keyboard is almost unusable, so I'll probably get a new one soon. Okay, bye! *goes and imagines zero as a pregnant woman*

*best friend plays*

Aidou: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I HATE THIS SONG! IT MEANS THE MENTALLY ILL WOMEN WILL KILL ME! MUMMY... MAKE IT STOP!


	4. Chapter 4

Kuri: Hi! Oh, damn. My laptop's almost dead. That means that the next update will probably be most delayed, It's been a good four years... I never gave it a name. For te last few days of it's life, it's nickname will be 'IBelongToAStalker'.

Zero: Wait, what was that? Say it slower.

Kuri: I. Belong. To. A. Stalker.

Zero: Dammit.

Kuri: Okay, today I think we'll have _slave_ here read the questions.

Rehana: ...My name's not slave.

Kuri: It is to me. And to the reviewers.

Rehana: Anyway, this is the first question, from ScarletSands110. 'Zero Dare'

'Dress up as a SUBMISSIVE neko(kitten)slave for Kaname,Rido and Kuri - san , and be their slave for the whole week, note. SUBMISSVE NEKO COLOURS ARE: Pink,purple,teal and emerald'

Kuri: Yes! Thank you! Now, dress up in this costume in front of everyone _second slave_.

Zero: Everyone...?

Kuri: Of course. Otherwise, it wouldn't be as funny.

Zero: Fine.

Kuri: *is staring at zero* Awww, you got dressed.

Zero: You really enjoyed it that much...?

Kuri: Of course. I'm a girl and I'm a stalker. Logic says I would.

Zero: So...

Kuri: You being my slave will have other effects while we're not playing Truth or Dare. Ufufufu...

Zero: O.O

Kuri: Emoticons FTW!

Zero: -.-

Kuri: More emoticons!

Rehana: Next questions. From Mystiue Madjik. 'ZERO-CHAN: WHY NO TWINCEST!' Eww, that's disgusting.

Kuri: No it isn't! It's beautiful! Twincest is beautiful!

Zero: Well, I do't think it's beautiful.

Kuri: You find it beautifulif you don't want to strip infront of everyone.

Zero: Okay...

Kuri: Yay! Now we have twincest! Woohoo!

Rehana: Uh-huh. Now, question. 'Kaname-baka: Why u and Zero-chan hate eachother?'

Kaname: Because I'm not a pervert and he is.

Kuri: But Kaname, yor mum and dad said 'He's a pervert. Haruka, he's a pervert.' 'Sorry, Juuri. He's like me.' ' Oh no, Haruka!' And your mum was 'kyah, kyahing' and you were like 'You're not making any sense...'

Kaname: How did you know about that?

Kuri: AND you're S&M, both sexually and literally.

Kaname: WHERE THE HELL DID FIND THAT OUT?

Kuri: Hey, you just confirmed it. You want to know... *holds up fanbook*

Kaname: GIVE ME THAT!

Kuri: I've already read every word. You also like haute couture.

Kaname: DAMMIT!

Kuri: Anyway, why do you two hate each other.

Kaname: He stabbed me.

Kuri: YAY!

Zero: He's a pureblood.

Kuri: And yet you freely let Yuuki drink your blood...

Zero: Shut up!

Kuri: What? I'm just telling the truth.

Rehana: You guys are strange, umm, next. 'Kuri: Poor Rido do you think we should let the fangils have him for the chappy?'

Kuri: Sure, why not? I mean, it'd be cool. And it'd mean I get a bigger right to torture him next chapter...

Rido: Damn you. Anyway, you can't force me. I'm a pureblood.

Kuri: Oh, I can force you. I can stop you from drinking blood...

Rido: Okay, okay.

Kuri: You guys are so easy to manipulate...

Rehana: *ahem* 'Rido: Trust me when I say everyone hates you. Do you want more children after pocky lover with no emotions over there? ***points to Shiki-kun***' Wait, what? POCKY LOVER WITH NO EMOTIONS? THAT'S AN INSULT!

Kuri: Actually, it's a compliment. He uses sleeping tablets to hide his emotions, which when you think about it, is worse.

Rido: Well, if I get to rape someone I'll be happy to have another child.

Shiki: I'm starting to doubt you're really my dad... -.-

Kuri: RAWR EPIC SHIKI FACE- Wait, I can't say that when it's Shiki, can I? No...

Rehana: I HATED THAT QUESTION. Next. 'Zero-chan, I'm still stalking you. *takes picture of Zero-chan with fancy camra* Do you shower naked? *Already knows answer but wants to hear it from his own mouth*'

Zero: I used to, but not anymore. And you're actually scary...

Kuri: But we both have pictures of you in the shower.

Zero: What area of the body did you take the most pictures of?

Kuri: Well, I can't sayfor sure when it comes to Madjik, but for me... The whole area around the butt.

Zero: Uh... huh...

Kuri: That's what you get for being a slave of an obsessed fangirl-stalker!

Rehana: I'll need to do that with Shiki...

Shiki: Never showering naked again. -.-

Kuri: RAWR EPIC SHI- No.

Rehana: Damn, missed my chance. Okay, next is... 'Kuri: You have a taser contract? I want one. I have a contract that says I can run people over with a road roller. ***shows contract***' Hey, Kuri-

Kuri: It's master to you.

Rehana: Well can I get a contract?

Kuri: No. Anyway, that's one cool contract. I have a knife that I keep in my room that I'm trying to get a contract for. I've already cut myself with it. Only to get my own blood.

Yuuki: Kaname-oniisama says that drinking your own blood is bad!

Kuri: Says you...

Rehana: And then she says 'Bye!'

Kuri: Bye! Hope Zero keeps showering naked! I can make him for the next week, because he's my _second slave_.

Zero: Great...

Rehana: Okay, next reviewer is The Pocky Machine. Shiki, come here!

Shiki: *drooling*

Kuri: I told you guys before, it's only a name.

Rehana: Okay let's see... 'Hahaaa! :)'

Kuri: Thank you! This is so fun to write!

Rehana: Okay, 'Will you marry me Rido =33333'

Rido: No.

Kuri: *ahem* *plays tape* 'do you think we should let the fangils have him for the chappy?' 'Sure, why not?'

Rido: Damn you. Fine. As I long as I get to eat you every month.

Rehana: Okay, 'I dare Zero to spend the day calling Shizuka "Mommy" and "Rido" Daddy.'

Zero: Okay, now I have to call purebloods 'Mummy' and 'Daddy'?

Kuri: To go along with the slave thing, this will be for a week. =3

Zero: ...-.-

Kuri: RAWR EPIC SHIKI FACE. Hey, Zero, I'm listening to your theme.

Zero: I have a theme?

Kuri: It's named 'Zero Kiryuu's Theme'. Oh, it ended. Time to go to Kaname's! His is the scariest song on the soundtrack. You know, my mum ordered me the actual OST last night. From Hong Kong. *is already waiting impaitiently for it*

Rehana: ...This silence is getting awkward. Let's move on, shall we? 'Truth for Kaname: Did you know incest is frowned upon? (and illegal?)'

Kaname: Not with vampires. Not with vampires.

Kuri: Kaname, you're half right. It's not illegal with vampires. BUT, it's frowned upon by everything under purebloods. And I think I'll just keep listening to Elegant Night Class for the rest of this time. Such a wonderful piece~.

Kaname: I...It's frowned upon by even Nobles?

Kuri: Yes. And if humans who didn't know you were purebloods found out about incest, you'd... you'd be instantly jailed.

Kaname: Dammit.

Rehana: Okay, next is... 'Ichirui- Why are you so much more awesome-er than your brother?

Ichiru: Well, it's natural. Though I feel sorry for the poor honey, always being worse than me-

Kuri: Zero, he called you honey. Remember, it's beauiful.

Zero: Ohemgee, kyah...?

Kuri: Zero fangirled screamed~!

Ichiru: Like I said, only natural.

Rehana: Zero fangirl screaming... Huh... Okay, moving on 'I dare you to do a slo-mo sexy hair flip. ;)'

Kuri: YES! Now do it, Ichiru!

Ichiru: Anything for my fans. *does slo-mo sexy hair flip*

Kuri: You know, that could've been sexier if his hair were wet... Go take a shower. *shoves towel in his face*

Ichiru: Yes, ma'am.

Kuri: Don't you dare call me 'ma'am' ever again.

Ichiru: Yes, Crimson.

Kuri: I like being called crimson, but... Isn't that what Kurenai means?

Ichiru: It is...

Kuri: Just go take a shower, okay?

Ichiru: Okay... *takes shower then comes back dripping with water and with a small towel wrapped around his waist*

Kuri: Me likey. Kuri like towels. Omnomnom.

Ichiru: Well, anyways... *does slo-mo sexy hair flip with water*

Rehana: You should be satsified... Okay, 'And Yuuki, you suck =3'

Yuuki: Suck what?

Kuri: Yuuki, I don't care if that was intentional or not, but please don't say it again.

Yuuki: Fine.

Kuri: Good, okay, now?

Rehana: And the last part is... 'Update Sooooon. **gives pocky**'

Kuri: *noms on pocky* Thanks~! I will~!

Rehana: Didn't you say your laptop as almost dead?

Kuri: Yeah, but I could use my brother's laptop.

Rehana: Then why didn't you say that earlier?

Kuri: I hadn't thought of it.

Rehana: Well that's stupid.

Kuri: Okay, truth for you guys. What do you think of _slave_, the original, over here?

Rehana: My name's not slave, it's Rehana.

Kuri: Don't care, never will.

Rehana: That was my comeback!

Kuri: Not anymore. Okay, see you guys soon~!

*Level E Theme plays*

Zero: It sounds like a screeching cat... I love it!

Kuri: You and me both, _slave the second_. You and me both...


	5. Chapter 5

Kuri: Welcome back! Again, sorry for late-ness, but I made up a new game. You go on one of those chairs with the wheels, then you wheel it around the house, pretending to chase Kaname and Zero. Then, after a sudden burst of speed, you run over them and eat their guts off the floor.

Kaname: One. Not ammused. Two. That's disturbing...

Kuri: Questions! From The Pocky Machine. 'Oh my, Ichiru =3 (And my dearest Rido, of course you can feed from me :3)'

Rido: Then we're already married.

Ichiru: Was it slo-mo and sexy enough for you?

Kuri: 'I dare Rido to give my Ichiru and Zero dearest bath. (heheheheh:)'

Zero: No.

Kuri: But Rido's your "Daddy" and you're mine and his slave for a week. And a week equals seven chapters.

Zero: Fine. Give me a bath _Daddy_.

Rido: *gives the twincest twins a bath*

Kuri: Twincest Twins is the new shipping name.

Zero: DAMN YOU, *******!

Kuri: No! Not my real name!

Zero: DAMN YOU, MASTER!

Kuri: Getting the hang of it, huh? Next one is... 'I also dare Asato and Senri darling to scream at kinder-grdeners.' To make it clear, when I fist saw this, it was so amazing that I told everyone about it. Yeah. That awesome. *dresses up as kindergaterner* Ne, Shiki. *puppy dog eyes* Now you can yell at me for making you kiss Zero... Twice.

Shiki: ...Ah. -.-

Kuri: SHOW SOME ENTHUSIASM, YOU POCKY OBSESSED VAMPIRE! AND ASATOU! GET YOUR LAZY ASS OFF THE FLOOR AND YELL AT SOME LITTLE KIDS!

Asatou: Graaaaaahhhhhhh! Help me!

Kuri: Good enough. Shiki?

Shiki: Ah.

Kuri: He'll never learn... 'And lastly, a truth for Zeroin-chan. Why don't your parents have faces? *flips through manga* Did Hino get lazy?'

Zero: That is the worst nickname...

Kuri: Sure it is, Mr. Grumpy The Clown Face.

Zero: *eye twitches* As for that, I guess she did get lazy.

Kuri: I think, his dad would have his eye and Rido's mouth.

Zero: Well, that's an accurate assumption.

Kuri: And his mum would have Shiuka's eye and Yuuki's mouth. SO your parents would look like purebloods.

Zero: RAAAAAWWWWRRRR!

Kuri: Shizuka. Okay, now for Mystique Madjik. 'Madjik:Aww!Zero-chan looks so cute dressed up as a neko!' I know, right?

Zero: Tch. Fangirls.

Kuri: 'Random Friend: *Pops out of nowhere* Aww! He is cute! Shiki, act as a weird nerd into video games and stuff so I can take pictures.'

Shiki: ...?

Kuri: She means act like me.

Shiki: Oh. *makes troll face and fuuuuuuuuuuu face at the same time* AAAAHHHHH!

Kuri: Idiot! *bish slaps him* Not me when I'm angry!

Shiki: Oh. *fake drools* Zero, can you sign my underwear?

Kuri: Okay, not like that, but can you Zero?

Zero: ...

Kuri: No, when I have access to a Pokemon game.

Shiki: Oh. *hums lavender town theme* Terminator, I choose you!

Kuri: Hooray for bad Torterra nicknames I chose when I was 9. Okay, I'm just glad we're recording this. Moving on, 'Madjik:Oh and Zero-chan I dare you to be nice to Kaname-baka.'

Zero: Great... AND DON'T CALL ME CHAN! 

Kuri: Too late, Zero-chan. *troll face*

Zero: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-

Kuri: Just do the dare. And I'm noticing that I'm making many video game references in this. I blame it on Pokemon withdrawal.

Kaname: Which exists how?

Kuri: It exists. I suffer more from Pokemon-obsession than VK-obsession.

Everyone but Kuri: O.O

Kuri: Yes, you shall fear the wrath of the epic Godkarp that when evolved turns into the shiny Lake of Rage Gyarados! *thunder crackles*

Everyone but Kuri: -.- Wut?

Kuri: Never mind... 'Friend: I dare Kanagay to kiss Rido-sama! XD'

Kaname: *kisses rido*

Kuri: YouTube time! Okay, 'Madjik:... Bye! *mumble*Why do you like rido*mumble*'

'Friend: Bye! *mumble*He's hot*mumble*'

Rido: Woohoo! Stalkers who I can orgy with! And my son, of course.

Shiki: ...That's... -.-

Kuri: PWND! Though I don't know who got pwnd... Now for ScarletSands110: 'zero dare'

'run over yuuki, then dress up as the scream(scre4m) and Kill cross kaien and watch 2 girls and a cup(real video)'

Zero: Umm, okay.

Kuri: Oh, how I wish that 'umm' was pervert moaning. But alas, it is not. *cries* And, Zero?

Zero: Hn?

Kuri: Here's the car to run Yuuki over with.

Zero: *runs over yuuki*

Kuri: I wonder if you need more challenging dares... And here's... Wait.

Zero: This will be bad.

Kuri: I just realised. You have to dress up as the Scream in a neko suit. Haha.

Zero: I knew it wouldn't be good.

Kuri: Here's the costume.

Zero:*dresses up as neko-scream*

Kuri: Oh, Cross?

Kaien: Yes?

Zero: *kills him*

Kuri: *uses magic potion to bring him back to life*

Zero: *watches the video* O.O

Kuri: Yeah, thanks for making me watch that wih you, _slave_. I hate you forever.

Zero: You'll stop stalking me?

Kuri: No, what I meant was, NEVER MAKE ME WATCH THAT AGAIN OR I'LL GET CATWOMAN TO HAUNT YOU!

Zero: ?

Kuri: Female Purrloin. Pokemon White. Nuzlocke. Died while training. Don't make me cry.

Zero: *plays lost in grief*

Kuri: I'm not upset...

Zero: As she's seeming to be unconscious, I'll end it. Please review, but make the dares towards Kuran. I don't want to have to watch disturbing videos again. Now, I shall sing the ending. _Nyan nyan, nyan nyan, nihao nyan. Goojasu_, _derishaasu decarechaa. 3_

Kuri: Suits your neko-ism perfectly.

Zero: OMG, she's alive!

Kuri: The ending was the Nyan Nyan Song from Macross Frontier.


	6. Chapter 6

Kuri: Since this is right after Halloween, CREEPY UPDATE! :D

Shiki: When she's excited it's a bad sign. A very bad sign...

Kuri: SHUT UP! *pulls out butcher's knife* :)

Shiki: Explain just why you have that with you.

Kuri: I always take it with me. The other day, two boys were teasing me for being female. I just cut off their arms, problem solved. (In case anyone was wondering, this actually did happen)

Shiki: So you killed people you didn't know, because they were annoying you...

Kuri: Pretty much. ^^

Shiki: Tha-

Kuri: On with the questions! Oh, just a sec... *plays creepy Vocaloids in background* Ooohhh, Circle You, Circle You! I love this song!

Ichijou: You know it's about kids having their heads cut off...?

Kuri: Yep! Cutest. Vocaloid. Ever. Now, from BeatYouWithaPipe, who used to be DuctTapeQueen000, "Hello there Im back urrr...yeah so"

"Yuuki I dare you to call the headmaster Father and give him a big do it he derserves it!"

Kaien: :D

Kuri: Creeper...

Yuuki: Umm... F... Fa... Fath... Can we just skip to the next part?

Kuri: Well, if you can't do it, you FAIL AT LIFE. Anyway, Zero calls you his daughter sometimes, so it can't be THAT hard... that's what she said...

Yuuki: *bleep*-

Kuri: Y U USE MAI NAEM?

Yuuki: *sighs* _Kuri_, one, we all know your real name, so whay can't we use-

Kuri: Because I said so.

Yuuki: Two, that's what she said? You are so disgusting...

Kuri: *giggles* What? It was funny.

Yuuki: Yeah. _Funny_.

Kuri: Well, _slave_, what did you think?

Rehana: -.- I won't even... Wait, what does it mean?

Kuri: You're hopeless.

Yuuki: And Zero? You say that?

Zero: Yeah. -.-

Yuuki: Damn yo-

Kuri: Oh! Zero! That reminds me! I had a HUGE (that's what she said) fangirl moment while reading the latest chapter!

Zero: ...What was it...? Also, what's with so many "that's what she said"...s?

Kuri: It was when you and Shiki... talked! My OTP has a chance! *V*

Zero & Shiki: It was about the Kuran princess...

Kuri: ME NO CARE. About the other thing... I've been watching WAAAAYY too many Chuggaaconroy vids lately!

Zero: Who...?

Kuri: -.- He's bigger than Chuck Norris. Also, he's a YouTube partner. Though, he does a TERRIBLE Australian accent.

Zero: You know that how...?

Kuri: *Kaname pimp slaps Zero... AWWW YEAH* B) Idiot! I'm FROM Australia!

Yuuki: Can we get on with the dare? Father. -.-

Kuri: Once more. With _feeling_.

Yuuki: _Father_. Annoyed feeling.

Kuri: Right... Now, hug him!

Kaien: I'm coming, my daughter! *glomps Yuuki*

Kuri: Right... After we've seen that... disturbing scene between... father and daughter... "Rima if you had to choose between pokey or Shiki who would it be?"

Rima: Pocky. -.-

Shiki: Well, that's very considerate. -.-

Kuri: SHIKI! *bish slaps him* You need not dis your GIRLFRIEND!

Shiki & Rima: We're not together... -.-

Kuri: Uh-huh.

Rima: *thinking* _Didn't Mother say that was a good flirting tip..._

Shiki: Telepathy. -.-

Kuri: I know I'd choose Shiki. Cause I get the guy AND he loves pocky. So I'd still get pocky. YUM. "That's it for me for now!"

Kaname: And it was nessecary to read that, why?

Kuri: MYOB. Now, from The Pocky Machine. "I dare Senri (my step-son :D) to bitchslap Rido dah-ling. He cannot have orgys when he's married D:"

Shiki: Awww, but I wanted orgy... -.-

Kuri: Passed down from your dad, huh? Listen, if you do this, I'll let you have an orgy with Zero, Kaname and Ichijou, after the show. Deal?

Shiki: Deal. -.-

Kuri: :D

Kaname, Ichijou and Zero: O.O

Shiki: *bitchslaps Rido* -.-

Kuri: *grabs megaphone* And here's your last dating show... contender.. thing, Shiki Senri! He's 178cm tall... I think... and alway has sex-hair...

Shiki: ... -.-

Kuri: And just bitch slapped his father's big, fat, mouldy head! :D

Rido: SHUT UP!

Rehana: That was... random.

Kuri: I know, good servant. Next time you say random, something good will happen.

Rehana: Random.

Kuri: *brings in the Hitachiin twins* Hikaru, Kaoru... If you don't want to get hurt, stay bystanders.

Hitachiin Twins: We'll do anything for you. *sparkles*

Kuri: Oh, shut it with the Host Club crap and stop pretending you're in Twilight. Now, put your lazy asses down, behind the soundproof screen, so I don't somehow get sued for not making this a crossover.

Twins: Yes, ma'am.

Kuri: SHUT UP! Now, "I dare Zero to get married to Shizuka."

Zero & Shizuka: No.

Kuri: Aww, you talked at the same time~! You're MEANT for each other~! :3

Zero & Shizuka: ...

Kuri: Congratulations, your now husband and wife, all that crap, KISS THE BRIDE, ALREADY! Or she becomes the corpse bride...

Zero: Nu. =^=

Kuri: *forces them to kiss* :D "Congratulations, Zeroin-Chan, you officially married to your "Mom"."

Zero: Don't rub it in...

Kuri: Uh-huh. "And I dare Hanabusa to video tape their honeymoon..."

":)"

Aidou: Yay! My first dare!

Kuri: Shut up, Temple Face.

Aidou: You mean my temples look good? I'm glad you thi-

Kuri: Not that, _idiot_! I'm refering to the fact your name means 'Indigo Temple'! That, and you look like... the oppisite of a spider.

Aidou: Thank you.

Kuri: Huuuh? But spiders are cute! 3 I'm getting a pet Turantula~!

Aidou: And this isn't a Halloween act...?

Kuri: Nope! Along with wolves, dogs and snakes, spiders are my favourite animal. Even though they're technically arachnids...

Aidou: What's an arachnid?

Kuri: Just video tape the damn honeymoon...

Aidou: *tapes the honeymoon* ...They were just hitting each other over and over for a few weeks.

Kuri: Perfect! *uploads to YouTube*

Kain: Does this person have proof she's not mentally ill?

Kuri: SHUT UP! Just because my brother has autism, doesn't mean I have it, too.

Kain: Then what are you listening to?

Kuri: People getting skinned and creepy Vocaloids. ^^

Everyone except Kuri: O.O

Kuri: Right, "I apologize for the un-creative ideas, my brain is not working right now... :D" It's fine~! I liked the one where Zero married his 'Mummy'.

Zero: HEY!

Kuri: Moving on, we have Mystique Madjik. ^^

Kaname & Zero: Oh, joy. -.-

Kuri: You've come to expect hers, haven't you? "Kanabaka: WHY U GAY AND PERVERT TO ZERO-CHAN!"

Zero: DON'T SAY "-CHAN"!

Kaname: I'm not.

Kuri: It was your idea for the blood drinking sessions, though.

Kaname: ... *kaname's very un-epic stoic face*

Kuri: *snickers... YUM* Fail... Okay, "Kanabaka: I dare you to kill Yuki."

Kaname: NU! MY WIAF!

Yuuki: NU! MY HUSBAND!

Kuri: Uh-huh... You two aren't even married, yet... Anyway, we all know you like either Rido, Zero, Ichijou or Aidou, so ditch the bitch.

Kaname: ...*RAWR EPIC TROLL FACE... or Rido face... whichever you prefer...*

Kuri: KEEL HER.

Kaname: *kills Yuuki*

Everyone watching Yuuki blowing up: *0*

Kaname: Meh.

Kuri: "Zero-chan: Do you still shower naked? I you don't I dare you to take a shower right now!*Pulls out camra and walks into bathroom closet too watch* XD"

Zero: Not anymore...

Kuri: *follows Madjik*

Zero: Oh, boy. Two stalkers.

Kuri: SHOWER. NAOOOOO.

Zero: *takes a shower*

Kuri: *drools* SO HAPPY. You are so awesome if you actually understand that... Okay, "Kuri: I have been listening to the theme songs and right now its on the Vampire hunters theme and now my family can't say I'm listening to japanese because they won't know."

Zero: Vampire hunters theme?

Kuri: I love that one. The viloins in it are so EPIC! On the subject of Japanese music, my mum downloaded backing tracks for three of them. I'm going on Australia's Got Talent with them~! Two by Kanon-san. Guess one of them. :) (Shouldn't be too hard, considering this is VK we're talking about...)

Zero: Wait, you're going on TV?

Kuri: It depends. They actually have you perform in front of a director, then the judges let you into the stage auditions if they liked it.

Zero: Then why are so many crappy ones?

Kuri: They just let them through for the comedy factor. There are only around 40 crappy auditions in each state.

Zero: Right...

Kuri: Okay, "Zero-chan: NEVER WATCH DIRTY VEDIOS WITHOUT KURI SAYING YOU CAN OR I WILL NEVER STOP STALKING YOU!"

Zero: All right, all right. Just don't stalk me forever.

Kuri: Okay... Eww. Apparently an old queen drank pus. *is watching tv as well X3* Now, she's done. From Onyx Flame Night, who used to be ScarletSands110. "zero, kaname, rido dare"

"Zero: uke the others seme," Just so you know, I absolutely love this idea.

Zero: WHAT? WHAT? NO! NO!

Kaname: You need so much mental help, it's not even funny...

Kuri: And this is when you know I'm obsessed with YouTube. You already have your neko suit, now UKE, FOR GOD'S SAKE!

Zero: ...

Kuri: By the way, if you don't, I'll steal all your ramen AND make everyone a vampire. ^^

Zero: ...Fine... *walks over to the other two*

Kuri: I don't think I'll go into detail... I mean, I want you guys to miss out. ^^ Now, "Have a threesome with kana-chan and riri-san, then tell everyone your pregnant with kitten hybrids, and piss on yuukis grave"

Everyone but Kuri: NU!

Kuri: FUCK YEAH! ...I'm alone on that?

Zero: I'm pregnant with kitten hybrids. (x46) **(A/N: I actually could count 46 VK characters off the top of my head. Hooray for obsessions?)**

Yuuki: Hi guys, what're you doing?

Aidou: GAAAHHH! IT'S THE LIVING DEAD! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!

Yuuki: Oh, that. Kaname-senpai revived me.

Kuri: Did the thing he use to revive you look ANYTHING like a Star Piece? And did he use a Revive or a Max Revive?

Yuuki & Kaname: o.O

Kuri: I guess I'm alone on the nerd status...

Zero: I'm pregnant with kitten hybrids.

Yuuki: But... Zero getting pregnant is as impossible as Kaname-senpai... being a pervert! **(A/N: Can I just point out something here? This idea was taken fram canon events. It was in the LaLa Kirameki Drama CD. Here's what it was. Basically, there was a Yuuki pantyshot pic in the Chairman's office. Yuuki said at one point "Could one of them have taken it...? Nah, they wouldn't." Then Zero was like "You thought for a second it could've been Kuran." Then Yuuki was all like "Zero! Kaname-senpai doing something like this would be as impossible as Zero getting pregnant!" Oh, the mind images I had that night. Also, remember, Drama CDs are scripted by Hino, herself. The idea is purely canon)**

Kuri: Not as impossible as you'd think... Yuuki, is your grave still there?

Yuuki: Yeah, why?

Kuri: Oh, Zero!

Zero: I don't need to pee.

Kuri: *brings out 15 litres of red cordial* Drink this. You'll be hyper, on helium and need to go.

Zero: ...*drinks cordial*

Kuri: And your puberty goes away...

Zero: *hiccups*

Kuri: Pretty much now.

Zero: *has a high, squeaky voice* I need to go pee-pee. :B

Kuri: It worked! You know... do you know your name?

Zero: I have a name?

Kuri: It's Bakabusa.

Aidou: HEY!

Kuri: Bakabusa, did you know there's a graveyard around here? Apparently one's with the Kanji for 'Kind', 'Princess', 'Nine' and 'Orchid' are the best toilets ever~! ^^

Yuuki: O.O Wait, isn't that the Kanji in my name?

Kuri: Exactly! Read this dare.

Zero: *pees on Yuuki's grave*

Kuri: ...Hey, look. His... un-puberting... spell... It's worn off!

Zero: I'm done.

Kuri: Good... *kicks Zero in the nuts*

Zero: WHAT WAS THAT FOR?

Kuri: For fun.

Zero: ...

Kuri: Anyway, I think that's it for now. Creepy ending? Actually just gory. Or, in my mind, incredibly cute.

*plays Fear Garden*

*after show*

Kuri: *sighs* I'm bored...

Shiki: When do I get my orgy?

Kuri: When I feel like it, now go away and... play your dating sims, or whatever.

Shiki: Do they have orgy?

Kuri: You're the one who's actually PLAYED them, so I'd guess so...

Shiki: *goes to play gaems*

Kuri: ...*laughs evilly* Now, VK DS, while watching GG and playing Madworld... I'm suddenly happy! And I get a Cross Academy uniform! Ufufu~...


End file.
